Thus far, I’ve been working with an old résumé - basically the same one I’d been using for the last 12 (yes twelve!) years, and just adding new employers to it each time I’d look for a new job. Well, clearly, that’s not cutting the mustard. I’ve thrown out the résumé altogether, and I’m starting from scratch.
The nature of my experience, and the chronology of it is such that a standard chronological resume really doesn’t do a whole lot for the hiring managers looking at it. I go from self employed to corporate to non-corporate and back to corporate jobs again. So I’m taking a look at a functional résumé, where I can highlight my relevant skill sets and my career accomplishments. Sounds easy huh?
*Screeching tires* Wait, what? No… not so much. In fact, looking back, I’m doubting a lot of what I’ve accomplished. Thinking of it as a fluke, or irrelevant. That was a specific situation, things fell into place just so then, and it’s an anomaly, not something likely to be repeated again. Obviously, the interactions I’d had with my clients, and colleagues over the years were tainted somehow. They must have been “fooled” by me somehow. I wasn’t really that good.
I’ve even toyed with calling an old client of mine. I thought maybe she’d be able to offer some encouragement, some positive validation that the interactions she’d had with me were positive… So I worked up the courage and called her. I hadn’t spoken to her since I before I left for my vacation (I got laid off my first day back from vacation). After 4.5 years of near daily interaction, and in the midst of a pretty big implementation (big for us and big for this client), I dropped off the face of the planet.
So now you’re asking yourself: “Self, what happened?” I got voice mail. Lovely. Maybe she saw it was me calling, and decided not to pick up. She’s probably upset with me. At this point I’m not sure how that project ended up. Did my boss drop the ball after I left?
I guess I’ll move on. There’s plenty of other self-doubt I can focus on. Like what happens if and when I get to the interview. I mean, back in the day I used to be the golden boy for interviews. Once I got my résumé in front of someone and scored an interview, I pretty much nailed it. I think we all know that guy, the one who parents just love. He gets along with all of his girlfriends’ parents.. even well after the ex- prefix gets affixed.
Well, I was that guy.. Somehow whatever it was that made parents love me, also made hiring managers and human resources representatives swoon. But here comes that nasty self-doubt again… wait for it: I’m not that guy anymore. I’m not the self-confident – bordering on cocky – youngster I used to be. I’m approaching middle aged, I’ve got kids running me ragged. I get winded bowling on the Wii. I don’t look as sharp in a suit as I used to. You get the idea.
Well, I think this rambling nonsense of a post has gone on long enough. I’ve given self-doubt enough of a voice for one day. I may be The Uncertain Man.. but of this I’m certain:
- I’m smart. I’m smarter than the average bear.
- I can communicate. I can get my point across, and that means I can put together the right résumé to sell myself.
- I have passion. I have a Universal fountain of passion within me that needs to be found, nurtured, cleared of weeds and other detritus. When it has been cleared, it will energize me. This energy will come through.
Ok, not sure how convincing my “certain” bullet points are.. but they are a start. They are convincing enough to beat self-doubt back for another day, at least.
I fear that I’ve been lax in my offer to help with your resume and for that I apologize. Lets set aside some time to really get it off the ground and reschedule your pity party for the 12th of NEVER, okay? We are descendants (for better or worse) of CONQUISTADORS! We do not fail and we do not doubt our talents and abilities. Entendido???
You sound exactly like I did when I was laid off and looking for a job. After being laid off from my last job (where my boss couldn’t stand me and took every opportunity she had to tell me how much I stunk) I had pretty much no confidence. It took forever to get interviews, then I got rejection after rejection, with no feedback. When I finally found the right place (or when they found me, depending on how you look at it), being out of work for four months didn’t seem that long. I had created so much doubt and been down on myself that it only SEEMED longer. Good luck!
You know, you still are that same person….but older and wiser. And your bullet points are absolutely TRUE!!!! I have a pretty good understanding how you feel as I’ve been out of work for over 3 years. I get the self doubt….I just turned 50 this year and am competing with those much younger. Of course, the hair doesn’t help…..and I don’t have the great technical skill set you have. But I do have a strong tech background, great people skills and am a natural teacher. I looked for other opportunities that capitalized on those and was fortunate to find some that helped renew passion for what I really want to do with my life. I am working, but I make about 40% of what I used to make. Maybe when the Ph.D is done, the income will improve to closer to what it used to be.
I do understand that you have a family to support so you can’t get away with those numbers….
But with all due respect, its time for the pity party to stop. Only YOU can make the changes that you want. If you are getting winded playing Wii…you know what you need to do (and yes, I understand asthma all too well). If the kids are kicking your butt, again, you know what you need to do. Its time to focus, get off your butt and take care of yourself including going back to the gym or whatever. In doing that self-confidence will start to creep back in. Some of the hobbies may have to go on hiatus for awhile (most of mine did and still are). Believe it or not, that will help you focus. You’ve always been a good problem solver so leverage that. Granted, I’m at a different stage of my life, but I have been where you are.
Not lecturing you. There are many of us who understand everything you wrote. You know I love you and only want the best for you. You know how to find me if you need. I’ll always listen.
With respect to what I need to do… umm… get an less physical game console?
Duct tape the kids?
I do know what I need to do.. Doesn’t mean that it isn’t easier said than done. Not to mention part of the process (for me at least).. is getting stuff on ‘paper’ so to speak. Once the self doubt it written down, it seems so silly.. and once the bullet points are made clear.. they become more tangible.. I know you know where I’m coming from.. *ehugs*
Remember that you don’t have to get the resume right the first time around. I went through at least 4 different versions of it before it was “right”. Progress is incremental.
I remember the conversion to the “functional resume” and getting a little depressed about things. And, you’ve probably already thought of this, but I’d email the client as a follow up (you didn’t mention if you left a voicemail) and see if you could carve out some time to chat. Out of curiosity, do you have a LinkedIn account?
Thanks everyone for the encouragement.. Pity Party is done.. (though I’m not certain it’ll come again.. I am after all.. *superhero voice* The Uncertain Man!!!)
@Ty – if I could even just START it, I’d have made progress… FTR, I haven’t yet. Just have a massive list of keywords for the transferable skills, etc. This stupid car registration nonsense kept me from it. Tomorrow fo’ sho’
@PJ – I didn’t leave a voicemail.. It’s actually a bit of a delicate situation.. I signed all kinds of legal releases, non-disparaging agreements, etc. when I left, so I’m not really sure how my exit was communicated to our clients. I didn’t want to leave a message and have it ignored if there was any ill-will towards me as a result of whatever story was told them. I’m trying to catch her at her desk again tomorrow. Yes, I’m on LinkedIn…