My Top Five Life Changing Moments

So I’ve been bad about blogging, and just as bad about keeping up on reading my friends’ blogs. But Bangs’ recent post on her blog titled “My Top Five Life Changing Moments” caught my eye. In the spirit of Arsenio Hall and C+C Music Factory’s “Things that make you go Hmmm”, it got me thinking a bit.

Hmmm… My first reaction was “I don’t have five life changing moments, I’m boring.” But upon further reflection… I think I do. I’m also due for another. As I was telling Smarty from Smarty’s World the other day – I’m my own worst enemy and my biggest obstacle. I need something that’ll move me out of my own way like gangbusters.

So let’s see…

1. The moment I saw my parents off when they dropped me off at college. Having lived a very sheltered existence as an only child of old-school parents – I was ready to get out on my own. While I loved school and learning, I more or less hated high school. I never quite fit in. I wasn’t brainy enough for the bookworm crowd, I wasn’t athletic enough for the jocks (despite being a black belt and running track), and I wasn’t cool enough for the popular crowd (currently the balding douche-bag crowd)¹. When I went to college, I was able to start fresh with a new group of people, and was able to find like-minded folks that I can relate and connect with. I was also painfully shy, and was able to come into my own a bit (I’m still shy, just not as painfully).

2. The moment I decided to give my relationship with my future wife a try. This was huge for me. Up until that point I’d had only one real relationship that meant anything – it hadn’t ended well (We’re cool now though). I knew my wife for about four years, but had been only friends so she was around when that other relationship ended. It took a huge leap for me to commit to her, and tougher still to remain faithful while away at college (and she back home). It took 6 years before we actually lived in the same town. …As an aside, why is it when you start dating someone, every hot girl you ever liked starts expressing interest? Where the heck were you 2 months ago?!….

3. The moment I quit my job as an executive recruiter. I’d only been a recruiter for six months, but I knew right away that it wasn’t for me. This change was good because I got out of a situation that I knew wasn’t going to result in a good outcome for me. But at the same time, I feel like it changed me for the worse. This was the first time that I’d had a significant failure or setback. Up until then, pretty much anything I’d set my mind to, I accomplished. But after that, I came to the all too clear realization that I could fail. Unfortunately, it’s taken me quite some time to snap out of it and understand that I can fail, but I don’t have to fail. That has been a long journey 10 years in the making, one which I’m still working on.

4. The moment I watched the Twin Towers fall on 9/11/2001 – Perhaps this one is on my mind because we just commemorated the tenth anniversary of that day. I think this one goes without saying, and I’m sure many feel this was life changing for them as well. To be clear, I wasn’t there. I didn’t know anyone who died there, personally. But my world view changed that day. I was unemployed at the time, sitting in bed watching everything unfold. My wife had just called me from her job to tell me to turn on the TV. I turned it on in time to watch the second plane hit. I remember chatting with people online who still had internet access before they left their offices and calling their loved ones on their behalf, telling them “So-and-so is alright.” I was faced with the frailty of life, the concept of those who got up and went to work that morning like they did most mornings, without any idea of what was to come. I was also struck by all of the stories of close-calls. Folks that should have been there, but weren’t because the train was late, they got stuck in traffic, or they spilled coffee on the way out of the house. In any case, I won’t belabor this one too much. I do know some who were right there, it happened in front of them but they survived, so my experience pales in comparison to theirs.

5. The moment I first held my children in my arms. Yes, this was two moments – and maybe the critical moment was when I held my daughter, my first born. Suddenly, it wasn’t just my wife and I. We were two care-free kids living life without kids, oblivious to how our lives were about to be turned upside down. It’s amazing to me that there’s two of them… Like Bebe’s Kids – They don’t die, they multiply… It also amazes me that my daughter just started Kindergarten… Wow where does the time go?

Given the rut I feel I’ve been in over the last few years, I’m sort of ready for my next Life Changing Moment…
What say you?

¹ – Any resemblance to any high school classmate, either living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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Posted in Kids, Life, Relationships | Tagged | 1 Comment

News of my demise has been greatly exaggerated.

So I’ve been away for a long time.. Shockingly, I’ve not written a blog post since August of last year! Before I sat down to write, I wasn’t sure quite what this post would be about. I think so much has transpired – I think I’ll just make it a post to sort of “catch up” and bring you up to speed.

Why haven’t I been writing? Honestly, I had a crisis of confidence. The parallels between Jimmy Carter’s America in 1979 and today’s America notwithstanding – I think my financial and career propects in the middle of last year were bore some resemblance to that of the average American ’79. But, ultimately, in the words of my dear Bangs and a Bun – I simply couldn’t be faffed.

So I struggled along. I took a gig delivering pizzas for some pocket change. Yes, pizzas.. If nothing else, I’d have a story to tell my kids. I spent an inordinate amoung of money on premium fuel, and drove my 20 year old bimmer through all kinds of weather. It handled even the worst blizzard of the winter with aplomb, even when other delivery guys with SUVs couldn’t get through. (dedicated snow tires ftw) **puffs chest like a proud poppa**

In the meantime, I lost a co-worker. One of the old pizzaiolo’s at the restaurant. He just had a heart attack and collapsed behind the counter. That was a pretty heavy blow both for me and for the folks at the pizzeria who had worked with him much longer. Sort of a wake-up call in a way…

But, I was still dealing with my own demons. A long-overdue ADD diagnosis – to which anyone who knows me would say “DUH”- finally came through and allowed me to get some meds to help my focus, but have a long ways to go yet to manage better outside of the physiology in the way of coping mechanisms and behavioral adjustments.

Fast forward through a rather uneventful winter… I quit the pizza job, as the beating my car was taking was causing repair bills in excess of what I was making delivering pizzas. At the same time, FINALLY some traction on the job front. Started looking at roles that leveraged what I was good at, and made the decision to give NYC jobs a chance again. I’ve since scored a temporary contract position at one of the top digital interactive ad agencies. I’ll be there through the end of August at least. After that? Who knows… I’m hoping they like my work enough to keep me on board, either with this project or on other projects. In the meantime I’m enjoying being gainfully employed for the first time in 13 months.

But on a very sad note, shortly after starting this new gig, I lost a friend who I’d known for years, and who I worked with at the pizzeria. Yes, they lost another one of their own. This time a 32 year old spitfire of a woman who brightened any room she walked into.

That pretty much brings you up to speed. I’m working through this new gig, hoping to get some more experience in this space, as it’s a bit new to me – and hopeful for the future that at worst, I get some added experience and something on my resume in 2011 – at best, a new job with a more clearly defined career path.

Life… it’s a hell of a ride.

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Job Hunt Update – The Self-Doubt Creeps In.

Thus far, I’ve been working with an old résumé - basically the same one I’d been using for the last 12 (yes twelve!) years, and just adding new employers to it each time I’d look for a new job.  Well, clearly, that’s not cutting the mustard. I’ve thrown out the résumé altogether, and I’m starting from scratch.

The nature of my experience, and the chronology of it is such that a standard chronological resume really doesn’t do a whole lot for the hiring managers looking at it. I go from self employed to corporate to non-corporate and back to corporate jobs again. So I’m taking a look at a functional résumé, where I can highlight my relevant skill sets and my career accomplishments. Sounds easy huh? Continue reading

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The Uncertain Hobbyist – Car Enthusiast & Motorcyclist.

E34 1990 BMW 535i – 5 Speed

So I mentioned in my first post that I’m a serial monoga *stops typing* I mean a serial hobbyist.  Depending on the day of the week, and the season, and which way the wind is blowing… I’m a car enthusiast, a motorcyclist, wood worker, Home Improvement geek, foodie, or amateur cook. Sounds pretty uncertain huh? You don’t know the half.

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The Unemployment Office – Haven of Uncertainty

If you hadn’t guessed it yet, this whole blog is about uncertainty. I needed a theme, what can I say? But I also don’t want to beat a dead horse. Eventually I’ll stop repeating the term incessantly… eventually.

Today I was called to the NYS Dept of Labor, to report to their job search resource center (aka, the unemployment office). Wow.. talk about uncertainty. If government offices were emotions; your local unemployment office would be uncertainty. The local Department of Motor Vehicles, on the other hand, would be a cross between frustration, indifference, and um.. this new emotion called *head desk*. But I digress.

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Dreams – The Ultimate Uncertainty.

After last night’s bizarre dream, I decided to take a cue from my brother-from-another-mother’s blog – where @TyroneM recently published a post about interpreting a funky dream he had.

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The Uncertainties of Life

Special thanks to andymiah for the CC licensed photo: http://flic.kr/p/5mScRg

I started this blog after getting laid off recently and spending some quality time with my pillow… Perhaps too much quality time. As a result, I’m faced, rather abruptly, with the uncertainties of life. This is more or less the impetus for this blog. I realized that uncertainty is pervasive in all of our lives, and is a common thread that unites us in the human condition.

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